The baby diaries. 3wks: the sesamea seed

So on friday I started having cramps. Oh joy that time of month. Only 'that time of month' seemed to forget its primary role was infact bleeding and not just painful cramping. After 4 days of waiting I got fed up and peed on a stick. Was that a second blue line or was I just imagining it? So on wednesday (shopping day) we picked up another pregnancy test and, with the utmost of slyness, hid it in our trolley. Ever feel like you get silently judged by what you have in your trolley at the supermarket? Yeah this was one of those days...

Now morning pee is meant to be high in hcg so on thursday I woke up early to take a test. Yep two blue lines it was. My oh so cool about it husband who had said to me "we have nothing to be worried about" when I told him we might be pregnant first time now text me from work saying "ok now im experiencing a wave of different emotions. At first i could wave it off as unknown... not anymore. love you!"

So now the nerves begin. What about this glorious dream of traveling? What have I done to it? It looks like all those months of randomly gathering mental info on pregnancy and birth was cleverly orchestrated. I had no reason to be looking up that info. God knows what he was doing.

I now have a lovely team of three ladies that are going to come see me as my midwives. How lucky am I to have such an awesome group of ladies at church who can direct me to midwives such as this.

My husband is now asking the hard questions. Do I want to move house to rent or do we want to think about buying now that we wont be going overseas for a while? Cloth nappies or disposable? Two kids close together or far apart? The one thing I know for sure is the one thing that doesn't always turn out how you plan and that is how I want the birth to be. Try to eat healthy and not use any type of drugs or pain releif. Mad! I'm only 5 weeks in and already the pain is rediculous. I bet I will come to the birth and be begging for this meagre pain back.
Next stop: finding antenatal classes to attend and trying to keep it a secret. Well... secret apart from those we have already told. I had a primal urge to tell my mother, so now the whole immediate family knows. Soon best friends and extended family will know and then at 13 weeks you will all be able to read these updates!

So I am 5 weeks (or 3 weeks from conception) into this pregnancy and that means my baby is the size of a sesamea seed and in a few days will have its own heat beat. Can you believe it? Try to veiw a heart in a sesamea seed. Tiny eh! Only now do I truly understand king Davids words.

Psalm 139  

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.